Spend any amount of time out among the general public, and it’s clear that basic manners are often lacking in our modern American culture. However, manners are important social skills that help us interact well with each other.

Kids are always learning and forming behaviors – good and bad.  Proper training is important for developing good habits from a young age.  That includes learning about manners.

Establishing good manners as a child will help throughout life, from handling early interactions with peers to achieving professional success later.

Table manners for kids

In today’s fast-paced society, families spend less time eating together at the dinner table. Sometimes that means table manners aren’t on the forefront of our minds. However, it’s still important to teach table manners to prepare kids for positive social interactions, from play dates to first dates to business lunches.

So how do you teach kids good table manners?  These tips will get you started!

• Be a good example.  Kids are great observers. They’re always watching.  Don’t expect them to just do as you say – show them to do as you do.  Consistently model the behavior you want from them.
• Begin early.  Start teaching kids while they’re toddlers to make table manners a good habit as they grow up.  But don’t worry if your kids are older.  It’s never too late to develop good habits!
• Eating begins after everyone is served.  Kids may want to dive in as soon as they sit, but proper etiquette is to wait for everyone to have their food before starting.  Make kids aware of exceptions where they don’t have to wait (barbeques and pot-luck dinners come to mind).
• Ask instead of reaching.  It’s not polite to reach over others, and it increases the chance for spills, especially for kids.  Teach them to ask nicely.
• Say please and thank you.  Communicating politely is one of the earliest habits to develop in kids – at the table and in other areas of life.  Teach children to always say please when asking for something and then to say thank you when they receive it.
• Sit up and keep elbows off the table.  Little kids may need training to keep heads, feet, and other body parts off the table, too!  It’s all part of sitting properly for meals, which helps them realize that mealtime isn’t playtime.
• Stay seated during meals.  Yes, kids have a lot of energy.  But that doesn’t mean they need to get up and run around during meals.  Teach them to stay seated for the duration of the meal.  Of course, there can be exceptions.  For long meals, such as holiday dinners when the adults linger and talk, allow children to be excused after they’ve finished eating.  If kids need to leave the table during a meal, they should ask to be excused and then return quickly.
• Use napkins properly.  No using shirts or pants or tablecloths for messy hands!  Napkins go on the lap while eating, and etiquette experts say they should not be returned to the table until you’re ready to leave the table after the meal is finished.  (See more napkin tips from an etiquette expert at Forbes.com.)
• Chew with mouths closed.  Make sure kids know that nobody wants to see their food or hear them smacking their lips.
• No rude sounds or crude humor.  Kids love crude humor and noises, but they need to know that those sounds and jokes aren’t acceptable at meal times.  This article from babycenter.com offers tips for parents to stem the sounds.  And when these things happen?  Teach them to say “excuse me.”
• Use indoor voices.  It’s great to enjoy a fun meal together!  Just be sure it’s not disturbing others when dining in public.  Remind kids to use their indoor voices at restaurants and special meals.
• No toys, books, electronics, etc. at the table.  Talk instead!  Meals are for spending time together in conversation, so put away those distractions while eating.  This is a key area for parents to model good behavior by ignoring or turning off cell phones during meals.  Show kids that you’re investing your time with them instead!
• Show appreciation.  Kids should get into the habit of thanking the person who provided the meal.  It’s also good to teach them how to handle situations politely when they don’t like the food.
• Help clear the table.  At home, it may be a requirement that everyone takes their dinnerware to the sink.  When they’re at another house, kids should follow the custom there.  Aunt Louise may not want Junior carrying her dishes, so in that case it’s OK to leave them.
• Review expectations with kids.  It’s a good idea to go over table manners with kids on the way to attend special meals, such as holiday dinners or wedding receptions.  Make it clear what your expectations are for them.
• Praise them when they do well.  Positive reinforcement is key for developing good habits.  Point it out to kids gently when they do something wrong, but focus on praising the right behaviors.

Teaching kids table manners takes some work, but it’s definitely worth the effort to help kids develop good habits.  Since we spend time eating with others throughout our lives, it’s important to make sure kids are prepared to represent themselves well in these social situations.

Want more tips for teaching table manners?  Check out this fun manners menu from The Palette Muse.